Okay. The real me laid bare. I miss my dad. It’s been five years. He raised me alone and I adored him. The smudged mascara on my hands this evening tell a story of just pure love and loss of a man I idolised. Again and again I try and make sense of it. More will be told to the world but for now know he was a comedian a scientist a mathematician and also an exceptional cyclist. Also a boxer. A gymnast. For me. Just an amazing father. It is him that brings the crazy and push in me. And also my children. He lives on through us. That is wonderful. With every death there is a life that lives through it. It doesn’t have to be family. It is everyone that person has ever had contact with. It is the butterfly effect.