Alcohol has an abundance of shhh factor to how I feel. It’s sshhh to the fact mother couldn’t bare me so much she left when I was three, it’s shhh to the noise of last night which led to my husband spitting anger at me, and sleeping in another room it’s shhhh to the pathetic happy and lively person I want so desperately to be but fail so miserably at being. I threw a small fortune at trying to be happy yesterday and still ended up miserable. Well done me. So here we go again. Sobriety attempt 34. It really is a beautiful sunrise though.