Big Wave today

No-one towed me out no this one was all under my own steam. I got myself here in this mess. Paddling along. Up and down like our home wifi which has been struggling to cope with the first proper Autumn dribbles.

The embers I call them. How appropriate. I digress.

I thought when I was told the cravings would be like waves I was kind of expecting the little ones you could boogie Board off. Oh no. Today we went big wave surfing. And it was scary. Like coming down a big hill on a bicycle way too fast and then suddenly noticing the fecking corner, that was my day, a few hills where I’d feel in control then seeing that corner knowing I was in trouble. Riding the wave and watching the gap you need to ride out of shrink faster than you’re catching it. Crap. I needed untold amounts of ginger biscuits, flapjacks and brownies, never mind that sushi nonsense (actually I quite like sushi) or Pret wraps no ALL I need today is sugar!!! And lots of it!!! Also though. I need to walk or run or jump about or scream or listen to loud music and sing really badly but I wouldn’t care because it’s LOUD YEAH!! But I can’t because when you’re a legal partner in an open plan office of a Blue Chip company and someone the grads are supposed to look up to you’re just not supposed to do that kind of stuff. 😤

Damn it. Day 7 sober. We made it this far though….I got through the gap. Just.

Little French market

The rows of fresh garlic, amazingly pungent smells contrasting strangely but rather wonderfully with sweet scented lavender stalls, the linens and cloth showing images of beautiful Provence, depicting simple scenes of women outside rustic rural houses on the mountainside, leather ware of bags and shoes, all shades of brown, and then the olives, green, black, filled, therein the tapenade stalls, alongside fresh fish, meat ….and then we see a little boy with a baby goat, a kid with a kid ….begging for money to feed it, speaking perfect English too. A happy day.